I still don’t know how I ended up in dentistry. My own childhood dentist certainly inspired no dental aspirations. The only thing he engendered was a soul-gripping dread whenever I was dragged up City Road, Birmingham, to his terraced house practice. The man had no empathy whatsoever and shouted at me when I gagged on his un-gloved nicotine-stained fingers or what I assumed were child-killing cottonwool rolls.

Just imagine if the newspapers weren't interested in dental disasters